Clean Bandit!

When I love a song, I play it out until I memorize all the lyrics and notes.  I am IN LOVE with “Rather Be.”  Heavy rotation!

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We’re a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea
But as long as you are with me…

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…there’s no place I’d rather be…

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I would wait forever, exalted in the scene.  As long as I am with you, my heart continues to beat…

We’re different and the same, switch up the batteries.

A Gentleman’s Dignity…my new Netflix obsession!

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Korean dramas, are by far, the best thing ever created!

I used to love watching K dramas when I was in high school. I used to wipe the drool off my face while I watched the lead man do the ever-so-seductive-linger-stare, with his hair covering over just one eye and think, “man, that’s so muh-shee-suh!” Translation: really cool.

Well, thank you Netflix for giving me my drama back! A Gentleman’s Dignity centers around four childhood best friends as they embark on love, career, life and the comedic errors that ensue layered in with the melodramatic “what do I do?” internal dialogue, that only Koreans can do oh so well.

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There are so many idioms and sayings that lose translation when written in English. But, I’ll share a few.

"Fighting" = means, "you can do it!" Not, really, fighting. More of a, "I’m rooting you on."

"Nun, joo-gool-lae?" = means, "you wanna die?" In Korean, you say this to your friends or to your significant other when s/he pisses you off or does something to embarrass you. You say it in annoyed, scowl face-tone. Girls say it a lot to guys.

"Jja-jeung-nah" = means, "I’m annoyed."  When, something doesn’t go your way, you say, "it’s annoying."

"nah-rah-rae" = means, "player."  In translation, it means something that floats, something that has too much wind in it. If someone calls you a "nah-rah-rae," it’s not a good thing. It suggests that you lack a moral compass and people do the, "ewwww" look.

"bae-go-pah" = means, "I’m hungry."  Usually, girls say this to guys all the time. In Korean culture, it’s customary for the person who’s older to feed the people who are younger than them. And if you’re trying to court a girl, you have to feed her. She might even say, "oppa, nah, bae-go-pa." Means, "older brother, I’m hungry." But, she’ll probably whine and be really cute about it. For the past 15 years or so, there’s this new trend in Korea that even if you’re dating the guy (and he happens to be older), girls call their boos, "oppa." Which to me, is weird, since that’s what I call my own brother, but if you’re a guy and you hear that, it’s considered super flattering, because you’re taking care of her.

"cheo-sah-rang" = means, "first love." It’s considered a huge thing to be someone’s "first love." There’s sort of a veneration that comes with saying, "that person was my cheo-sah-rang," because in Korean culture, you don’t just fall in love all the time. You develop crushes, "jjak-sah-rang." The base word, "sah-rang" means love. But, the rule is, the minute the other person finds out about the crush, it’s no longer a crush, because your words are like throwing rocks at someone. It hurts them to know that you like them, if they can’t reciprocate.

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That’s enough of my Korean lesson, back to watching A Gentleman’s Dignity. Fighting!!!

Silver Linings Playbook

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Ahhhh, finally got the chance watch, “Silver Linings Playbook,” — the story about a bipolar man (with uncontrollable anger fits) delusion-ally in love with his wife (who left him months ago), after he found her in the shower having sexy times with a colleague of hers, a history teacher, to which he beat the living Jesus out of.  And of course, the equally crazy, Jennifer Lawrence, the whore-y widow who slept with a lot of people at her work, after her husband was killed, because she was depressed.

I have to admit that I loved these characters. I love a good crazy. Not a bad crazy, but a passionate crazy. The, “I got to have you now” crazy.  Not, “what did you just say, you’re not making any sense.”  (wah-wah-wee-wah.)

Bradley Cooper’s character doesn’t have a filter. He says exactly what he thinks, Jennifer Lawrence’s character is feisty and sad, but it’s through their connection, that they’re both able to heal each other from their past.

In order for Jennifer’s character to reach Bradley’s character, she has to be over-the-top, and she literally slaps him across the face. Loved that.

There’s a part in the movie where Bradly has his ah-ha moment and says, “you had to be crazy in order for me to see myself.”

Although, I would never want that kind of relationship, it’s way too emotionally exhausting, I can see how these two characters eventually fall for each other. Dysfunction is attractive to those who constantly need that high. There’s an intrigue there with someone you can’t quite control, a ticking time bomb ready to go off. That rush of feeling like, “this is it,” the “be all, end all.”  Those huge swings and dips in emotions, instability, anxiousness, not knowing what’s going to happen next, the thrill of the chase. That thrill that ages you, gives you a headache and wrinkles. (No, thank you.)

It’s really interesting when people find people who are emotionally unstable exciting or hot, because if it were any other dysfunction like an erectile dysfunction, no one would be interested. But, there’s something to be said about “fixing someone,” — you feel like a hero, like, “yeah, this person needs me,” even though, after a while, everyone gets over the “captain save a hoe!”  Like, “really, again?”  The boy who cried wolf, anyone?  I mean, how many times can the boy cry? Answer: as many times as he thinks he’s being heard. Remember at the end of that story:  all the sheep were eaten because no one believes him. Dun-dun-dun.

Either way, Jennifer does a great job at acting, although, Oscar worthy?  Questionable. But, I can see why she’s deemed a good actor, I felt her character, that’s good enough for me.  And Bradley Cooper, I mean, could he be anymore brilliant?  Loved the garbage bag running outfit. Talk about a restraining order.

Under the Tuscan Sun

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When “Under the Tuscan Sun” came out years ago (2003, to be exact), I watched it, seeing myself as Diane Lane’s character. The American woman who moves away to Italy, deciding to buy a worn-down villa, fix it up, and start a new life there. I wasn’t in any dire circumstance in my life (when I had these fantasies), but her story always resonated with me. There’s something attractively compelling about the heroine who finds happiness through her own whims and downfalls.

Too often, when unfortunate things happen in our lives, we’re all left with these pondering provocations about who we are and how we ended up here.  In all of us, there’s an internal clock that stamps successions in our lives that curtails an understanding of our story.  This event happened, which undoubtedly led to this event, that pushed this event to unfold.

What Frances, a San Francisco-based writer, found was that her divorce did not kill her, her broken heart mended. She left her former life behind: the cheating husband with his new pregnant bride, her house that they will now occupy, all of her material possessions… in one swoop, she gave it all away, except a few boxes of books. She kept those, the rest, considered trash, meaningless.

She wanted to move to Italy to have a wedding and start a family.  While it wasn’t her that got married, she did in fact create a family there (when her best friend had a baby), and two of her friends got married in her villa. She got exactly what she wanted — the events just transpired in a different way.

At the end of the movie, a man named Ed, a writer, traveling through Tuscany, finds her lying on a bench, and he grabs a ladybug off of her right arm.

Ladybugs are used as a metaphor for love.  When you’re not looking for it, it finds you.

She had reviewed his first book and wrote an unfavorable review, but in return, that review, made him write another book, that later became successful. How’s that for poetic irony. 

My favorite quote of the movie happens when Martini says to Frances, “Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.”

Someday…the train would come. 

The biggest compliment…

The biggest compliment anyone can give you… “I trust you.”

Anyone can say that they have feelings for you, but emotions are fleeting, they come and go. But, when someone looks you dead in the eyes and says, “I trust you” — that’s major!

There’s also a difference between love and being in love. It’s easier to love people, almost everyone has a lovable quality about them. I love chocolate. I love naps. I love a good sense of humor. But, being in love means you’re willing to shut all else down. You’re all in and ready to “let it ride.”

I don’t fall in love easily. Even with people I thought I loved, I don’t know if I was ever truly “in love with them.” I know I loved them as in cared about them, but in love, probably not. Sure, I had my moments, but that’s hormonal, attachment, bonding, euphoria. Not love.

I can say, “I cared for people.” I wanted the best for people.

But after time passes, and the smoke and mirrors disappear, you realize that you’re not in love with certain people and you probably never were: it was all an illusion. Even people you thought you would love forever, it just disappears. Poof. And you secretly hope they find someone else and get that “love” from someone else, because you don’t want it from them, nor do you feel those butterfly feelings for them. Not now, not ever. And not in a mean spirited way, but you just don’t love them. And you just don’t care what they do next, because you don’t care.

It’s really interesting when you arrive at this space, because you’re detached and moved on.

And you get excited about cultivating a new love. And you open your heart to someone else, who’s all about it. And you feel emotionally safe and connected and ready to, “fall in love,” and “let it ride.”