Swinging…not the one at the playground.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been approached to have a menage a trois? In English, that means a threesome. 

In my experience, more than I would like to be honest about it. 

The situation always goes like this…the guy likes me, the guy wants to get to know me better, the guy is cool…except there’s one thing…he has a girlfriend who would also like to play with me, too.  

Swinging?  That’s the topic of the day. 

I don’t judge. If people want to have open-minded sexual encounters then by all means, knock yourselves out. But, what always fascinates me is…what about me suggests that not only would I be the “plus one for the evening,” but that I would like to engage with women?  Don’t get me wrong, I think a lot of women are beautiful, simply aesthetically, but I’m not attracted to them, and I’m certainly not interested in engaging in “acts” with them. 

Not to mention that you want me to engage with your man in front of you? Maybe, I’m a little territorial, but I don’t like sharing. And I don’t want someone else in my business, engaging with someone I’m involved with. 

But, different strokes for different folks. 

Call me old-fashion, but I prefer monogamy over a polyamorous relationship. How do you get to a place where you’re like, “yeah, let’s swap, or that’s fine, do what you got to do?” 

I think there’s other recreational things out there to keep one occupied.

And whenever I decline, I’m polite about it but I’m also interested in why they ask me. The answer:  because we think you’re hot. And you would be a lot of fun to play with. 

Yes, I’m a fun gal, but I’m not that fun. 

And the thing is, I’ve never been interested in doing that.  I know for some, they would kill to have that opportunity, well mostly guys, I think it’s all guys’ fantasy to be with two women, but for me, does absolutely nothing for me.  

The longer I live in NYC…the more nothing surprises me.  

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I love McDonald’s honey mustard dipping sauce and decided to replicate it. A heaping spoonful of Dijon mustard, apple cider vinegar, EVOO, maple syrup, garlic powder, pepper, red chili flakes and a pinch of salt. Mix together and slather over whatever you want. #quickmeals #homemadedressing #tasty

I love McDonald’s honey mustard dipping sauce and decided to replicate it. A heaping spoonful of Dijon mustard, apple cider vinegar, EVOO, maple syrup, garlic powder, pepper, red chili flakes and a pinch of salt. Mix together and slather over whatever you want. #quickmeals #homemadedressing #tasty

homemadedressing tasty quickmeals

Falling in love with a married man? Yes or no?

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Do you ever really have control over whom you fall in love with? Speaking from experience, control - no, the actionable part - yes. 

What happens when a woman falls in love with a married man. That’s the topic of this blog.  (For the record, it’s not me, but I thought, what an absolutely compelling topic.) 

Some will adamantly say, “no way, Jose, if he’s still legally married, even if he might be separated, he’s off the market.”  Others will say, “depends, shades of grey.” 

I was broached with this topic because a friend of mine is in this particular crisis—she’s fallen in love with a man who still has a ring on it, but is clearly unhappy in his marriage, and prefers her over his wife. 

This is what I told her.  As a woman, you know deep inside if something feels right for you, you know if a man (whether or not he’s married) is committed to you or to this other woman. You know if you’re “cheating” with him versus establishing a relationship, you know if you’re the “other woman,” versus the “main course.” 

But, during this process, until he’s legally separated or divorced, you will have to endure some not so pleasant moments. Like, him going back to his wife, him potentially sleeping with his wife, him not knowing what he wants or needs, him being emotionally involved with her. You either have to peace out now or ride the wave of uncertainty until all gets figured out—that’s the kind of baggage most women don’t want to deal with.  

It’s difficult enough to maintain a relationship between two people, but to have sideline guests, is so not worth it.  That’s major drama.  

Also, will you ever get to a place where you trust him?  I mean, if he’s willing to do that with you, what’s to say, he wouldn’t “cheat” on you? I mean, he’s not exactly taking his vows seriously.  

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"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
- Robin Williams
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’."
- Erma Bombeck
"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."
- Joseph Campbell

The story of Fendi

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It all started in a small, antiquated Roman town, when 5 sisters, also craftswomen, banded together after their father had passed to create one of the most iconic Italian fashion houses: Fendi. 

Karl Lagerfeld originally launched Fendi when he was a brand new designer. He’s often recalled as a genius as he works at night and takes in inspirations during the day.  

Each sister occupied a role within the company, from communications, to the fur expert, to the bag lady, etc. 

They created a visore rasato — a new technique, a provocation of crazy ideas that they materialized into fashion.  

One of the most popular items was “The Baguette” — named after the idea of holding a loaf of French Bread underneath your arm. 

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I saved up enough money, bit the bullet and purchased this bag for myself many years ago, until I was mugged on the streets of San Francisco during the Holidays. I was drunk, piggy-backing on one of my friends’ back, when all of a sudden, someone ran by me, and grabbed my bag out of my hands. I chased after them (in my 5 inch heels), no such luck, they took off with my Fendi, my phone, camera, credit cards, makeup, cash, everything that was in my bag, including my pack of gum. My friend was able to retrieve two things as he also chased after them: my red Makeup Forever lipstick and Altoids. I was devastated, screw the lipstick and mints, I want my purse. Not my Fendi!  

I learned an important lesson that night: do not carry around expensive purse especially when you’re tipsy, make sure you’re holding your bag like it’s your child. Someone will come by and try to snatch it away from you. Now, I always wear my bag in front of me or I tightly wrap it around my arms.  

To this day, the biggest seller of the Fendi Collection are their furs and their purses:  specifically The Baguette…why? Because Carrie Bradshaw rocked it on ‘Sex and the City.’  That’s how I knew about this bag in the first place.  

The Fendi flagship store remains in Rome, the cultural mecca of its roots. 

The logo in front does not stand for Fendi… it stands for Fun Fur. Karl Lagerfeld made that one up.  Clever, right? 

fendi fendi handbags karl lagerfeld

Trust the love…that’s all I have.

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For the past couple of months, I went deep. Deep within myself, unearthing every possible single part of me and letting it bleed on my blogs. 

Most of time, while I was writing, I was crying.  Most of time, I was writing, my head was spinning, yet, I focused all those thoughts into a space that I could call my own: my words. 

Here’s what I learned about myself in the past 2 months: 

- No matter how badly I’m injured or bruised or taken down, I will always choose to love over anything else. 

- I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. 

- I am ever changing and learning and growing. 

- Missing someone is there to remind you about which parts of yourself you need to do more of.  If it’s comfort, then you need to comfort yourself more. If it’s love, then you need to love yourself more.  It’s not about being selfish but really understanding your wants and needs.  

- People reflect back to you what you offer and give. The more you give of yourself, the more you will receive. 

- Personal boundaries are so important, it’s the only weapon you have to protect yourself.  

- No one is perfect. Toss away your ego. Forgive them. Forgive yourself.

- Cooking really does make you happy.  

- Exercising and laughing are the best medicine against stress.   

- Wash your feet at night and apply lotion to your feet.  The calming sensation of rubbing your feet will make you sleep better.  

- Tell yourself, you did the best you could, everyday.  

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One pan meal: cubed pork loin, diced apples, butter, salt, pepper, garlic powder, apple cider vinegar and apricot jam. Mix together, cook until pork juice runs clear… Viola, another easy, simple meal in less than 10 minutes. #quickmeals #onepanwonder

One pan meal: cubed pork loin, diced apples, butter, salt, pepper, garlic powder, apple cider vinegar and apricot jam. Mix together, cook until pork juice runs clear… Viola, another easy, simple meal in less than 10 minutes. #quickmeals #onepanwonder

onepanwonder quickmeals