What a treat! Had a chance to chat it up w/ Malcolm while he was signing my book, and he incorrectly spelled my name. Soo Jin = Sdd Jin? Hey, we can’t all be phonetic heroes. Still his biggest fan. @gladwell  (at Barnes & Noble Union Square)

What a treat! Had a chance to chat it up w/ Malcolm while he was signing my book, and he incorrectly spelled my name. Soo Jin = Sdd Jin? Hey, we can’t all be phonetic heroes. Still his biggest fan. @gladwell (at Barnes & Noble Union Square)

The Damned

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I went to a screening of a new horror film called, “The Damned,” starring Peter Facinellii, because I’m a huge Twilight fan, but also because there were a bunch of Latina and Latino actors in this film. Most of the dialogue was in Spanish and I thought, as a woman of color, it’s important for me to support more movies that showcase people of various ethnicities and backgrounds.  

First of all, this picture doesn’t even do it justice. I had to pick a “PG version” of some of the stills, because I’m telling you, it’s so scary, I had nightmares that night. Think, “The Ring,” and that crazy, little girl coming out of the television, and that’s pretty much how you’ll feel the entire time. I had to close to my eyes and breathe and remind myself that I was watching a film with actors “pretending.” And felt comforted afterward talking to film critics who were like, “yeah, that totally reminds me of blah blah blah, while I had tears in my eyes.”  

The story is simple, toward the end of the movie.  At first, it’s presented as this creepy old hotel owner who’s abusing his own daughter by locking her in some dungeon. But, as the story unfolds, there was a witch who was hunted down hundreds of years ago, but her spirit remained, that “witch” is the old man’s daughter. She’s the “devil”—she knows all of your secrets and she uses them against you. Temptation beyond temptation. If you allow her in, she kills you, enters your body. Then, off you go, to kill the next person. Everyone becomes weak, so you end up killing each other, one by one. The only way not to die, is to not kill the person who’s possessed, but that’s relatively impossible, unless you’re the last person standing.  

I’m sorry, but anytime a little girl is possessed with no shoes on, starring at a mirror, or carrying around a ragged doll, that’s scares the baby Jesus out of me.  

However, the main crux of the story is about a family that ends up destroying each other because of their secrets and lies.  (Once you’re able to digest all the gore and blood.)

And of course, that last one to have the spirit, ends up being Peter Facinelli’s daughter, because she shoots his finance (who’s possessed), the finance’s spirit enters his daughter’s, and right before she turns into the “devil” he locks her in the basement, or she’ll end up killing him. Just like the relationship the old hotel owner had with his own daughter, before he died from Peter Facinelli’s family releasing his daughter from the dungeon.  Full circle moment.  

At the end of the movie, Peter is left alone, with no family, in an abandoned hotel, with a daughter he once had locked in some dungeon, who is now possessed, and he says to himself, “I’m going to find a way to save my daughter.” It’s crazy.  She’s possessed dude, you should peace out. 

I’ll be damned if I see “The Damned” again.  

thedamned peter facinelli latinaactors movies

Sam Heughan giving it to the cameras. You betta werk.  @heughan  (at 92nd Street Y)

Sam Heughan giving it to the cameras. You betta werk. @heughan (at 92nd Street Y)

Red carpet for cast and executive producers and Q&A session w/ cast and author of book, Diana Gabaldon, moderated by Leslie Yazel, Executive Editor at Cosmopolitan. #outlander  (at 92nd Street Y)

Red carpet for cast and executive producers and Q&A session w/ cast and author of book, Diana Gabaldon, moderated by Leslie Yazel, Executive Editor at Cosmopolitan. #outlander (at 92nd Street Y)

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Screening of STARZ and Time Warner Cable new original series “Outlander.”  (at 92nd Street Y)

Screening of STARZ and Time Warner Cable new original series “Outlander.” (at 92nd Street Y)

Living Sacrifices Means Living a Tangible Life

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Romans 12:2 - Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind. Then you will be able to test and approve God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

What does it mean to be a living sacrifice?  A holy lamb?  An innocent child?  A martyr?  

I think it’s way more complicated than that. Apostle Paul wrote the chapter “Romans” in the New Testament of the Bible during the time of the Roman Empire. Rome was at the height of its expansion and he was writing what he saw, how people were being treated, the chaos that surrounded the rise and fall of Rome. Romans were the first to have slaves, Romans were the first to build coliseums, yet the Romans also persecuted those who didn’t believe what they believed: The Romans killed Jesus Christ, because he represented a schism (a split) within the religion. 

Paul continues in verses 14-16 - Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people in lower positions. Do not be conceited.

Or as Buddha put it, “If you truly love yourself, you would never hurt anyone. Those who experience the unity of life sees their own Self in all beings, and all beings in their own Self, and looks on with an impartial eye. Those who know life flows, feels no wear or tear, needs no mending or repair.  In the end, these things matter: how well did you love? How well did you live? How deeply did you let go?” 

Being spiritual for me isn’t some weird, bible-pushing, meditating-yoga-doing, fluffy, extraterrestrial thing, it’s the way I choose to live my life.

I’m not perfect, I’m human, but I do the best I can with what I have, everyday. Spirituality allows me to free myself from the confines of the world, even for a brief moment in time. It gives me faith, peace and joy, no human can provide. It allows me to take another step blindly and trust that I’m walking in the right direction. It allows me to see humans as imperfect and flawed and I love them in their greatest moments of weakness. It allows me to pray for others, that they heal, get better, find happiness, love, prosperity, all of it. I am nothing without my spirit and essence. I have strength, courage, and determination not by my own volition, but because I believe in something greater than this world can provide.  

Being a living sacrifice doesn’t mean you get your ass kicked or that you let others treat you like crap. Being a sacrifice means, that in those really uncomfortable, unbearable moments, where you want to scream, not listen, or what I love to envision “punching someone in the throat,” — so they’ll just shut up, you imagine yourself in their shoes and you say, “bless you, my child” and keep it moving!

Make it about living a tangible life. If a living sacrifice for you is getting up and giving your seat to the elderly lady, boom, high-five. Or, maybe, it’s not engaging in negative talk for an hour. Or, maybe it’s to stop beating yourself up, over your looks, or your body, or whatever issues you have. Or, maybe it’s to not be jealous that someone has something you want or envy. Or, maybe, it’s taking the time to volunteer.  

No one is a saint or a martyr, but doing those little things, will clear space in your mind and heart.  Like a blank page, you get to write on, daily.  

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You’re hired!

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Who doesn’t love hearing these two words!  I know, I do. I love it when I hear this. That means, I’m qualified, I made the cut, I’m in.  

You have to take the same approach when entering a new relationship. 

Before, anyone becomes your “partner” — the person who has access to everything (your life, your friends, your family, your finances, your trust, your network), they need to show you that they want the job. 

When someone wants a job, they show up on time, they dress to impress, they tell you what you want to hear, they show you past examples that makes them qualified for the job, they’re telling you that they’re qualified. Great. That’s step one.  

Now, before you start handing over the keys to your apartment and your pin number, watch what happens next. 

Are they coming to work on time? Do they complete each job assignment? Are they turning in great quality work? Do you see them as moving up in the company?  

Or, are they late? Do they make excuses for why something didn’t get done? Are they taking random breaks and time-off from the job, without proper communication? Do they over-promise, under-deliver? Do you trust them? Are they an asset or a liability?  

The first 90 days (3 months) is crucial in any job, that’s when you prove that you’re a great worker. That’s when your superiors/bosses/supervisors watch you closely. They give you feedback, they see how quickly you implement feedback, whether or not an employee is listening, learning, trying to improve, still excited about the job, but most of all, excelling. 

That’s the probationary period. Usually, after the probationary period, depending on the job, you get health insurance, 401K, life insurance, all types of nooks and crannies. Your boss starts to see value in you, they begin to trust your judgement, they give you more responsibilities, and you become a member of the team. 

You don’t make partner in a law firm by being cute and flaky. You make partner by showing your firm that you’re the best fit for the position. 

If someone you meet or currently involved with is not showing up for the job, fire them! They’re exhausting your time and money. They don’t really want to be there, they’re using the job until something better comes along. They think they can do better than the job you’re offering, let them go.  

In a relationship, you don’t get to choose which line item you want to do, or which job description you want to omit, it’s the entire kitten caboodle. If a person can’t do what’s written on the job description, making them an intern because it’s better than nothing, is an absolute waste of your company’s money. Unless, you want a bunch of lazy interns who have no intention in staying in the line of work, running around your office, drinking your coffee, eating your donuts, using your internet to look up or apply for other jobs.  

Remember, the best feeling after getting hired is hearing the words, “you’re getting a promotion!”  See yourself as the CEO of your own company.  When you change your mindset and turn relationships not from feelings and emotions into a business model. You’ll be able to cut the fat really quickly. And really, do you want to be paying for a severance package after an unfit, lazy, unmotivated, toxic employee gets fired? I didn’t think so. 

Idea Credit: S.J.K, A.K. and E.W. (for always listening to me, consoling me, and being there for me to “process.”) 

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